Generic Viagra | Adderall || Levitra online

A Layman’s Guide to being Mysterious

(Man walks onto camera)

The first step, of course, is to get yourself a duck. This will put people off balance and you won’t have to work as hard at everything else.

Mastering the Mysterious Far Away Look.
As people age, they are forced by society to become more focused. This process must be reversed.
Method – Get one Large Pointed Stick and apply firmly to pupils. Wait two weeks then remove bandages. Practice talking about subjects of earth shattering importance making no eye contact at all. When you reach the most climactic part of your dialogue, envision yourself staring down an Austudy worker and suddenly fix your subject with the full force of your glare. This may be practiced on your duck.

Be Oblique
This can be accomplished in a number of ways. I often find it effective to carry around an odd object. This may be an egg, a sock or even a pot plant. When you are in a cafe, don’t be content to merely order a latte and sit in a far corner to write and stare into space – take out your object of choice, place it upon the table and order it a drink.
Items like whipper snipers, mallets and mobile phones should be avoided. Remember, there’s a fine line so don’t cross it – you will be shunned.

Being shunned
If you are shunned, buy a small beach shack, avoid people and take up sculpture or painting. Society is easily fooled and will happily accept you back into the fold. (see appendix on Andy Warhol.)

Choose easily impressed friends
The key word here is Sagittarian. Avoid Leos, Scorpios and people dressed more oddly or owning larger ducks than yourself.

Thank you and good luck.
(adopts a vague far away look and wanders off)

Leave a Reply

You must be logged in to post a comment.