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Serve by themselves or as an accompaniment to Borscht.

2 3/4 cups flour
150g butter
2 eggs plus 1 egg yolk – beaten
pinch salt

Make a well in the center of the flour and put all ingredients in. Mix together to form a firm dough. Roll out several times, folding each time.

3 eggs
200g cream cheese
100g butter
powdered nutmeg
salt and pepper

Boil 2 eggs, shell and mince. Blend all ingredients together.

Roll dough and cut into circles – about 8cm diameter. Place a small spoon of filling in each, fold in half and seal. Brush with egg and bake at 200c for about 20 minutes.

Building Damien a Gazebo


Since Damien is such a groovy guy and seems to have a strange fascination with gazebo’s, it may occur to you at some point that it would be a grand idea to build one for him.

Don’t resist this urge. He is a Leo and makes an effort to react well to presents.

Gazebo’s should be brightly coloured and comfortable and I am sure he would let you smoke bongs in it occasionally. You can also think of the envious neighbours who would gaze upon our gazebo and sigh, thinking of the discontent they feel in their own lives, which could so easily be filled by a brightly coloured recreational garden ornament such as ours.

Assemble all ingredients in a logical and eye-pleasing manner. Wrap and serve.

Toasted Fish Finger Sandwiches

The secret here is variety. Some of my all time favourites are; peanut butter and cheese, salad and mayonnaise, cranberry and avocado or seeded mustard, bacon and asparagus.

Don’t be afraid to experiment.

I tried a deep fried, battered fish finger sandwich the other day and, whilst it tasted like roadkill, I did not lose heart. I would love a job in experimental cooking one of these days – I have some theories about the taste of chicken slowing down as it approaches the speed of light, which I would like to test out. Funding for the 10km article accelerator is in the works, so it is just a matter of time before I can study the high frequency radiation that streams off a good Vindaloo when it collides with a high speed Pappadum moving in the opposite direction.

Last Food in the Fridge Stew

This is an old recipe I scribbled down when I was living in a share house…

1 Shriveled Carrot
1/2 an onion
1 clove of garlic
The equivalent of 3 cloves of garlic in dried and mushed form
The dregs of 3 different types of pasta
1 tin of tomato
3 tomato ends
Soy sauce
A bunch of sausages from the freezer, courtesy the Dept. of Power and Water random outage
Dried basil, oregano and chille
Salt and pepper to taste
1 measure of Intestinal Fortitude
1 1/2 portions of Sense of Humor

After glaring at your flatmate for forgetting to buy any vegetables, straighten the carrot out as best as possible and peel away the black bits. Soak in cold water for a few minutes to give the carrot some backbone, then slice it and the onion, being sure to avoid any parts that are too mushy.

Fry them in oil until brown. Add the sausages and a splash of soy. When the sausages are well browned, slice them into bite sized bits and add everything else to a large pot.

Simmer like you’ve never simmered before, until everything has joined in union with everything else.

Serve with alcohol and SBS TV.

Damien’s Special Napoli Pasta Thingy

Fry 1 large onion and 3 cloves garlic in a portion of The Often Forgotten Garlic and Dill Compact Butter.

Add 800g tinned tomatoes and 1 bunch of basil (you can use The Basil That Time Forgot in the very back of your fridge, providing it has not evolved).

Kitchen rule – if it talks back, call somebody.

Add 1 cup of water, dried herbs and whatever vegetables you can scrounge. Stew for at least an hour. Season and serve with pasta.

Sri Lankan Beef Curry

3 lb stewing beef (cut into pieces)
4 tbs vinegar
6 cloves garlic & 1 inch ginger root – crushed together
2 tsp salt
1 tbs powdered black pepper
1 tbs roasted curry powder
1/2 tbs chili powder
4 cardamoms
2 cloves
8 curry leaves
4 pieces rampe (pandanus leaf)
1 inch piece cinnamon
1 medium onion (sliced)
3 tbs vegetable oil
2 tbs tomato paste or sauce
1 cup coconut milk

Wash the beef pieces and drain water thoroughly. Add vinegar, crushed garlic, ginger, salt, black pepper, curry powder and red chili. Coat the beef pieces well with the spices and set aside for about 1/2 hour.

Heat the oil in a saucepan. Fry curry leaves and rampe. Add onions and fry until soft. Add the beef and stir for sometime. Add cinnamon, lemon grass, cardamom, cloves and stir until well mixed. Add tomato paste (or sauce) and stir until all pieces are well coated (If the curry is too dry and tend to stick to the saucepan, add 1-2 cups of water and stir).

Close with a lid and allow the beef to cook on slow heat. Add the thick coconut milk (or fresh milk) and bring to a boil without covering.

Taste and adjust salt.

Sri Lankan Roast Curry Powder

1 cups coriander seeds
1/2 cups cumin seeds
1 tbsp fennel seeds
1 tbsp fenugreek seeds (aka methi seeds)
1 cinnamon stick, about 2 inches
1 tbsp whole cloves
1 tbsp cardamom seeds
2 tbsp dried curry leaves
2 tbsp red chili powder

In a dry pan over medium heat, roast separately the coriander, cumin, fennel and fenugreek, stirring constantly until each one becomes a fairly dark brown. Do not attempt to save time by roasting them together – they each have different cooking times and you will only end up half-cooking some and burning others.

Put into a grinder with cinnamon stick broken in pieces, the cloves, cardamom and curry leaves. Grind finely, then add chili powder.

Cajun Seasoning

3 tbsp garlic salt
2 tbsp onion salt
1 tbsp garlic powder
3 tbsp cayenne
3 tbsp paprika
1 tbsp white pepper
1 tbsp fresh ground black pepper
2 tbsp dried thyme
1 tbsp dried oregano


1 potion of brown roux
Chicken Stock
1 cup Cajun seasoning
1 small ham hock
1kg chicken (pieces with or without bones are fine)
2 chorizo sausages
2 cloves garlic, finely chopped
1 cup okra
1 cup green capsicum – diced
1 cup celery – chopped
1 cup – white onion – chopped
white rice for serving

Fry sausage to remove some oil and slice. Brown chicken in sausage fat. Set aside the meats and brown the onion, capsicum and celery, add the ham, stock and half the seasoning. Simmer for 30 minutes.

Add sausage and roux and stir till the roux has combined – I usually whisk the roux with a fork in a separate glass with a bit of the warm stock – prevents lumps. Add chicken.

Simmer for a further 30 minutes then remove the ham hock and scrape any meat back into the pot. Return bone to pot also and add the second half of the seasoning (taste).

Lower the heat and add the okra and garlic. Let it all cook on quite a low heat for an hour or so, stirring occasionally. You may find a lot of oil on top of the gumbo – this should be removed carefully with a ladle.

Serve with rice.

Brown/White Roux

I use a white roux (pronounced roo) as a thickener in many sauces and soups – it is made by simply kneading together equal amounts of flour and softened butter (not margarine).

If you want the roux to flavour as well as thicken then you might use a brown roux. In school I was taught to make this by first browning butter in a pan to the desired colour and then adding flour to make a paste while cooling.

For Cajun recipes and places where you want an even stronger taste the following recipe may be of use – be sure to stay with the pan while cooking though as this can be volatile.

125 ml Peanut oil
60g Flour

Warm oil in a pan and stir in flour. Keep the heat quite high and keep stirring – the roux may stick a bit while thickening so scrape the bottom of the pan if necessary.

After about 10 minutes or when the mix has reached the right color remove from heat and stir till cooled. If there are any black flecks in the roux at this point you will need to start over as they will add a burnt taste which is not wanted.

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