A Very Groovy Adventure part 4
Conclusion to be written.
Magical items can be found anywhere you wish to place them – most are fairly pointless but all should be given out at some point.
Magical Items
Rolf’s Wobble Board
When played, sends out waves of pure boredom that causes the victims in a 10 meter cone to save vs’s paralysis or be immobilized by shock for D6 turns. thereafter, a hit means D8 boredom damage.
Anti Duck Sphere
This is an amber crystal sphere which, when activated with the correct word, repels ducks. The word is ‘Peking’.
The Most Impressive Gnomish Hammer of Mass Destruction
Don’t bother. Doesn’t work.
The Blundstone Boots of Grip
These boots will grip even a 90 degree surface.
Girdle of the Winter Bear
This cursed item causes the wearer to eat heavily then fall into a deep sleep and hibernate until the belt is removed. The player may be roused, but it is difficult and he will seek to return to sleep as soon as possible. -2 on all rolls whilst awake.
Gnomish Crystal Ball
Used by illusionists to monitor a space no more than 15 meters away. Unfortunately, these things are likely to also pick up advertising commercials at in opportune times. This is not affected by the total lack of broadcasting stations in this particular era. This is where the players will first learn about doom chickens. There will be a Demtel style add on, telling them abut the amazing properties of the Mixmaster Chicken.
The Ugly Stick
This takes D4 points off the charisma of a character every time they are hit. The effects last for D6 days.
The Amulet of Literal Action
Causes the players every action to happen just as the players words suggest.
The Cookie Tin of Wanting
All items placed in the tin become items of desire and will be jealously guarded by the player
Groovy Pointy Stick of Wicked Stabbing and Thumping
+ 2 to all hits
Amulet of the Inconspicuous Shrub
3 times a day, the player may elect to blend into an inconspicuous shrub
The Oracle (Magical 8 Ball)
1- You will find true love
2- Go west young man
3- Death is the only escape
4- You know the answer already
5- No
6- Yes
7- Maybe
8- Who wants to know
9- The king is a fink – pass it on
10- (A concise answer about the situation, written so small the player will have to find a tricky way to read it)
Corn/Wheat Tortilla
These are extremely simple to make – I am including recipes like this because the difference in taste between these and shop bought varieties is enormous. Use these in any of the mexican recipes that call for corn tortillas.
Corn Flour (masa harina)
Warm water
Mix the flour with enough water to form a soft dough that no longer sticks to the side of the mixing bowl.
Form small balls out of the dough and roll into thin tortillas of desired size. Use a small amount of corn flour to prevent sticking.
Stack rolled tortillas on a slightly damp cloth and keep covered.
Cook tortillas in a hot, dry pan – cast iron works best but use what is available.
Cook both sides turning once – usually it will take about 30 seconds each and will puff slightly when done – try not to burn them 😀
Serve warm.
– if you spice these and fry in a little oil you can make a very tasty corn chip.
On Care Bears
Playing this song while you read this is highly recommended.
Lately Tallulah has been watching a lot of episodes of the Care Bears and although I could go for hours talking about the detestable marketing ploys of shows such as this I noticed something even more sinister.
Care Bears are fascists.
They have a big clock that shows how happy and caring their people are and monitors for ‘wrongfeel’ and ‘badthink’. When they see the meter drop towards the raincloud side, they try to prevent it getting worse by going on “caring missions” (crusades?).
In the episode I saw this morning one bear can be quoted as saying “there goes the neighborhood” in response to seeing the negative swing of their bad mood detector – a very ominous expression bringing to my mind the Bodycount song of the same name which references black people moving into a white suburb and the ensuing social dramas and racism…
In order to deal with negative emotions they use the “Carebear Stare” – a group attack on the insurgent where they all release the full fury of their tummy laser/rainbows to force a change in mood.
While this sort of intervention might work in movies I know that if they tried this while I was in the grips of some sort of depression I would probably hit them with the full fury of an empty red wine bottle – ironically it would probably cheer me up too.
All their targets seem to want is the right to be able to feel sad and some of the more destructive tendencies of the Bear’s enemies can possibly be mirrored in the real life terrorist organisations hatred of America’s Care-Bear-like intervention in worlds affairs with the intention of pressing US political and religious views on an unwilling world.
To be fair, I don’t think the writers were aware of the nature of their creations but were rather setting their own society’s values into a script, thinking it to be an innocent portrayal of a how the world could be.
I say passive aggressive bears policing society from high, bent on creating a utopian society without regards for the personal rights of their prey would be a bad idea.
Just a side note – I always wanted to see a Care Bears/Transformers crossover – maybe a Decepticon invasion of Carealot. Would Tummy Power work on insane megalomaniac robots bent on destruction? I think not.
Tallulah Classic 2007
This is the course we set up for the 2007 trophy contest croquette.
From top to bottom;
Chicane leading towards the evil ring of clone balls (hollow plastic but convincing and tricky in the low light);
Tunnel hole with track leading through the gazebo;
Hoop of FIRE jumping no less than 8 cars;
Quinn looking impressed and a little in awe of aforementioned hoop;
The Gong Hole (ring the gong or try again);
Around the rock – guarded by a frightening sri lankan we had imported for the occasion;
The Jelly Hole before (with a brief intermission for cocktails and baby photo’s) and after the removal of the supporting freezer container…
There were more obstacles but no photo’s to show unfortunately – once people arrived it got a bit silly.
